Even after years of knowing someone it can often still be hard to know what exactly makes them feel loved. Gary Chapman talks about the 5 love languages, he explains that we all have a tendency to recieve and give love in one of five ways. Some feel most loved when spending quality time together, others from thoughtful gifts, some from acts of service, others from physical touch, and others from words of affirmation. Whatever way we recieve love is the way we most often give love as well. However, rarely do all those around us feel loved in the same way.

So maybe you are always bringing home their favorite drink or dessert but what they really want is you to give them a nice hug and hold their hand while you walk. Or maybe you consistently do the dishes and wipe down every surface of the house but what they really want is a hand written note hidden in their bag.

Whether you know the members’ of your family love language or not it can be incredibly helpful to talk about what things make you feel loved. Set aside 20 minutes with just your spouse, or with your kids too, and talk about what your love language is. Then each make a list of practical things the other could do to make you feel loved.

When you notice a dissonance in your relationship with your spouse, or even with your kids, you can pull these lists out and take action, do something to make them feel loved and see if it helps open up communication or break down some barriers.

Click HERE to download and print the excerpt from the Family Field Guide Vol. 6 to use in your own family.

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