I stood in front of my open refrigerator door staring into the abyss one evening, stewing over what I could make for dinner… again. I could feel the frustration building as I contemplated the reality that this same cycle of people needing to be fed and my subsequent responsibility to feed them would continue to happen every single day (three times a day to be exact..plus snacks). And that’s when it hit me. I had lost all delight in my daily life with my family. Now, to be clear, this wasn’t about dinner. This was something that had been going on inside of me for some time. Somewhere along the way, between preschool drop off and diaper changes, loads of laundry and meal planning, I had come to the point where I was just “getting through the day”, rather than actually enjoying my life with my family. And I was tired.

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As I stood there that night, something switched inside of me. I didn’t want to live my life on autopilot anymore, moving from one task or activity to the next, doing things that were necessary and good, but also missing out on so much more. I wanted to live out of a place of enjoyment. I wanted to be more present. I thought about my children and how even the smallest things can capture their attention and their delight so easily. I wanted that for myself and for my family. But how?

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Creating rhythms of delight

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Let’s be honest…. Life is not always enjoyable. There are parts of life that will be extremely mundane, unpleasant, and even painful. However, there is much of life that can be fully savored and learned to be enjoyed if we will take the time to train ourselves to see it. I am a type-A kind of gal. I move from task to task with incredible efficiency and also incredible tunnel vision most of the time. It can be very hard for me to stop and be present in the moment. And that is why I think the key to creating delight in your family is creating rhythms of delight.

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When we are zooming down the interstate at 80mph, it can be helpful to have signs that alert us to when our exit is coming. That way, we can slow down appropriately and prepare to get off the highway. The same is true for our lives. When we are moving through life, it can be easy to miss moments of delight. However, if we have built specific rhythms into our family’s life, they can act as signs that alert us to slow down and prepare to embrace a more intentional atmosphere in our home.

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When creating rhythms of delight, I think there are a few essential components that can be incorporated into your family’s life that will act as important signposts as you journey through life together. While each family will have their own specifics of what each of these components could look like, I think it’s helpful to consider each one as you discuss together what might help your family find more delight in your life together.

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THE RHYTHM OF CELEBRATION

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Holidays

‍Holidays provide one of the easiest opportunities to incorporate traditions that spark delight into your family’s life. While traditions will vary with each family, I encourage you to find rhythms that will serve you best. These rhythms don’t have to be (and shouldn’t be) burdensome, stressful, or just “another thing” to do. In fact, this often defeats the very purpose of slowing down and bringing in more moments of joy and wonder. Resist the temptation to overschedule, overcomplicate, or compare what you are doing to what other families are doing. Find simple things that your family loves to do together and make these a part of your yearly traditions.

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Important Calendar Dates

‍Birthdays, anniversaries, and other family specific important dates all provide another opportunity to find delight together. Like holidays, it can be easy to establish memorable and delightful family traditions for these special occasions. Find your family’s all time favorite birthday treat recipe and make it every year. Take the time to make and send homemade cards to beloved relatives together. Go around the table and share memories or what you love about the person to celebrate special accomplishments. These moments will stick with you forever.

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Seasonal changes

‍This might seem less obvious, but I have found there is no better way to create delight in the middle of the mundane than to celebrate the changing of the seasons. Have a special first day of spring picnic, make popsicles and hit up a splash pad or the lake to ring in the summer season, celebrate fall by going on a walk together to admire the changing colors of the leaves. Even winter has its own beauty that can be appreciated if you will take the time to notice it.

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THE RHYTHM OF TRADITIONS

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Although traditions often go hand-in-hand with celebrations, there are other traditions that happen organically within families outside of celebratory events. For example, your family might institute a weekly homemade pizza and game night or have a special way to practice the Sabbath together every week. Traditions might center around dinnertime, bedtime, or even morning routines. Either way, building traditions into the rhythm of your family life can provide an anchor in the midst of especially busy seasons or even transitional seasons, like adding a sibling to the family or moving to a new city. It can also provide weekly (if not daily) moments to connect as a family and take delight in being together.

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THE RHYTHM OF PLAY

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Although highly overlooked, the rhythm of play can be one of the best ways to step outside of the mundane and take delight together as a family. Play can mean different things to different families. Some families might enjoy creating together as a form of play, through art/music/composition. Other families might find delight in different forms of recreation- biking, jogging, playing sports. Others might see gardening, gaming, trivia, cooking, or even just spending time together outside as their preferred form of play. Whatever serves your family (and this will likely ebb and flow depending on the ages and interests of the children), make it a priority to engage together in play on a consistent and rhythmic basis.

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THE RHYTHM OF SERVING / HOSPITALITY

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Hands down, one of the best ways to increase delight as a family is to serve together. It’s easy to get tunnel vision in the midst of our ordinary, everyday living. Taking regular time to lift our eyes up to see the needs of others can put a new perspective on our own lives. As with everything else, opportunities for service can be tailored to fit the season and stages of each family. One of the easiest ways I have found to serve others in a season with littles (when working around sleep schedules makes it difficult at times to get out) is to invite people over and make them a meal. Nothing brings a family together like preparing to have guests into your home. Everyone (even the youngest toddler) can get involved with helping to plan a menu, grocery shop, prepare the meal, tidy up the home, set the table, pick flowers to decorate or make name tags for everyone. Having others over doesn’t have to be stressful if you are intentional about it on a regular basis and can make the mundane more exciting for everyone. If you have more margin or older children, getting out into the community to serve together can also be a wonderful way to delight in spending time together and helping others. Serving dinner at a shelter, helping out with a ministry at church, or organizing a drive for a charity or program you are passionate about are all wonderful ways to make service a regular practice together.

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